The Place Where I Belong
by General Lucio
Summary: Stiles the one who seems always together in the face of danger, truly isn't and he is in search of who he is and to find the place he truly belongs. To find the answers to these questions he must travel down a road alone facing dark druid sacrifices, a pack of killer alphas and one Sourwolf Alpha who's torn between lovers, and when it all ends where will he find himself?


I've been sitting on the idea for this fanfic for a while and I really like the way it plays out in my mind... And I'm not so sure how it will translate to 'Paper', but I want roll with it to the bitter end. And I also wanted to thank you in advance for reading. As always leave comments and reviews or message me if you like.

Thanks,

General Lucio

_**Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own Teen Wolf**_

_**This is yet another product of my overactive imagination**_

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Stiles sat in Derek's new loft, taking in the scene around him, the entire pack assembled for a meeting about the ritualistic murdering of virgins and the inevitable conflict with the Alpha pack. The alpha was lecturing about what the murders could possibly mean or who they were meant for but Stiles was just half listening, he was noticing the other wolfs around him. Four teenaged couples sat on Derek couch and loveseat nestled into each other attentively listening to their Alpha speak, who stood in front of them all, Stiles sat to Derek's right in a hard stationery desk chair while Peter was placed in front of him to Derek's left looking disinterested as always. An Alpha pack and now murders, just when life was finally quieting down, there was no deranged hunters or Kanima attacks, and it gave Stiles' mind an unprecedented amount of time to think about things he normally wouldn't in the light of day. Like the way the teenagers reacted to their significant others, Stiles noticed it more and more, they paired off like it was freaking noah's ark.

Lydia sat on Jackson's lap in the loveseat next to Erika and Boyd, Cora and Isaac sat an appropriate distance from each other but still their hands never dis entwined. Of course Allison and Scott sat on top of each other nearest to Stiles. They all looked so...Happy. And it was amazing that they all found someone who could handle their wolfieness and their, for a lack of a better word, 'unique' personalities, but being the constant ninth wheel on their pack outing was getting old. Scott always insisted that that wasn't the case, claiming they were just a large group of friends going out together, that became extremely awkward when they were at a movie or dinner and everyone began to make out and all he could do was stuff his face with food to preoccupy himself. Envy was the only way to describe it, but he did his best to conceal it from the others and it for the most, whether it be because they were all too wrapped up in their own romances or choose not to say anything.

So being the realist that he was, he began to withdraw from the group activities as much as possible without warranting too much suspicion, save for the mandatory pack meetings and such, it seemed like the most logical out for him. It just felt like everyone had someone, well except Peter, himself and Derek. He looked at the alpha for a moment and looked away, it was hard to be this close to him and not want to run his fingers through his hair or rub his cheek against the scruff on the older man's face. With years and years of pent up unfulfilled sexual urges, Derek was a giant walking embodiment of sex, but the realistic part of Stiles' knew better, it was a fantasy. He was resolved never speak or think about Derek in that way. It's fantasy, and he knew himself too well if he thought about Derek and himself he would become in love with the idea and he didn't need unrequited love added to his list of frailties.

The boy was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he didn't notice that no one was speaking any more, he looked around and everyone was staring at him, he meet each pair of eyes with his own and searched for some clue as to why they all kept on looking at him.

"Stiles. What's up? Are you ok?" Leave it to Scott to break the silence. The expression on the boys face left Stiles puzzled.

"Why wouldn't I be?" The words came out of his mouth too quickly he didn't even realise he's said it. He wasn't ok but he always prided himself on not letting the others know he was off his game.

The attitude had caught Scott off guard. "Well because- I mean. What I am trying to say is-"

He would have continued to blubber on and on until the undead wolf zombie, formally known as Peter, opened his mouth. "What he is trying to say is that we have never heard you be quiet for longer than a minute and you just sat here for an hour and a half without speaking or twitching."

"Well I apologize, I am sorry I wasn't a source of entertainment for todays meeting, perhaps next time I'll do a song and a dance." Stiles stood up from his chair and turned from the pack. His eyes meet Derek's green ones and they stayed lock in each others gaze, as if they were having some unspoken conversation. And he would've stayed looking into those eyes forever until Isaac spoke up. "That's not what we meant."

He finally averted his eyes away from Derek.

"I am going to get some air." Stiles grabbed his red hoodie from the back of his chair flung it on and placed the hood over his head. He moved through the window that lead to Derek's balcony, closing it behind him as he ducked through it. The space was cool, peaceful, and most importantly it is quiet, the moon wasn't full but it shined brightly, Stiles leaned against the wall and just looked out into the dark. He like it this way, he liked being alone rather than being in a room full of people and still feeling alone. He was used to it, it was normal, but it was hell. The silence was a comfort and a reminder how alone he was.

He was alone for what could only have been ten or fifteen minutes tops, before he heard the window open, and someone came through the window to join him.

He heard the door latch shut but he refuse to turn to face the person. "I don't want to talk to you Scott, just leave me alone for awhile ok?"

"Good thing I'm not Scott." Stiles flinched at the incredibly deep and sultry voice belonged to the Alpha.

"Derek?! What are you doing out here?" Disbelief evident in his voice. Derek walked to the space next to him and leaned on the balcony mirroring Stiles. He looked up at the moon and closed his eyes. "This does happen to be my balcony Stiles."

"If you coming out here to kick me out let me save you the trouble, I'm leaving any ways." Stiles straightened himself and attempted to walk towards the window when a strong hand grasped his wrist. The Alphas hand tingled against his skin and his eyes flickered to Derek's for the second him tonight. And again time was lost between the two.

"Stay for awhile." Derek released Stiles slowly motioning for him to come back.

Stiles was hesitant, but he positioned himself next to the Alpha

"uhhh ok."

Neither man spoke they simply stared at the moon. The setting was too romantic and Stiles was determined to avoid eye contact with Derek again.

Derek turned to and looked at him. "So what's going on with you Stiles?"

"I don't know what you mean" This no eye contact thing is harder than he thought, but he turned slightly to see the older man.

"You too quiet and you're more distracted than normal, its very unlike you."

"Yeah?! Well maybe this is who I really am? Ever thought of that? Everyone is so caught up in everything else they failed to realised I've always been this way." Stiles didn't like aiming his frustration on one person, it wasn't fair but if Derek was going to continue to pry for an answer he would get one.

"What is really going on Stiles?"

"And why does it concern you? I'm just the research guy, that all I am to you all." It was a said in an almost venomous way, but he was hurt and upset.

Despite the aggressive directed towards him the wolf stay unusually calm"You're upset so it concerns me!... Simple as that."

And when Stiles' eyes finally meet Derek's he could see the genuine concern in his eyes and in that moment all of his anger faded and his resolve broke. He hated that he wasn't strong enough to resist what the wolf did to him with those stupidly beautiful green eyes.

Stiles looked up at the moon and he could feel the wolf looking at him.

"Do you ever get lonely Derek? Do you ever look at them and wonder why you don't have that with someone? You ever feel like you haven't found the place where you belong?"

"I've been down that road before and it didn't work quite so well the last time." Derek had been down that road and it was a long twisted blood stained road named Kate.

"I'm sorry. I forget sometimes" When he looked at the wolf he could see pain face across his face before Derek turned his eyes to the moon.

"It's fine. Yes at times even I get lonely, but after so many years of being alone... When one only knows loneliness the idea of companionship seems like an impossibility." Derek Hale talking about romance, hell must be frozen over.

"It stupid of me but I see the way they look at each other. The way Scott looks at Allison... I want someone to look at me that way, even if its just for a moment, to be needed by someone." Stiles sounded so desperate and needy but it's what he felt and often times he couldn't discuss or even attempt to rationalize his feeling because it left him more broken than he thought he was.

"It isn't stupid. Not at all. We each want to be loved by somebody, and find our place in the world, its natural."

"I can totally understand why no one would want me. I've always been the weird kid who can never shut his mouth, or sit still, or play sports well, or dance. I don't exactly have movie star good looks like everyone inside or a rock hard body like you. I'm just abnormally normal Stiles." If he was at rock bottom before now he was underneath rock bottom, he rarely vocalized his long list of self loathing qualities, and if he did it was only to laugh it off.

"Yeah you don't have any of those things..."

"Thanks alot dude." Derek held a finger to Stiles as if he wasn't done.

"But those things make you Stiles. And if you haven't noticed, we are all werewolves, nothing about us is normal." Did Derek halfway compliment him? That tripped him up, he was so focused and eloquent and Derek had to fluster him

"That's not what I meant- You don't understand. Its difficult to explain to someone like you Derek."

"Someone like me?" Derek raises an eyebrow at the pale boy.

Stiles flailing his arms defensively. "What I mean is- I meant was ..."

"uh huh?" Derek crossed his arms and smirked at him

"Well look at yourself. I doubt for a second that you had any trouble with the ladies... I even bet there were even a few guys crazy enough to hit on you. What do I have to combat those sparkly green eyes and white smile or that dark broody bad boy attitude? What kinda hope does that leave for a guy like me? huh? And all my stupid friends are all ten steps ahead of me all the time. You know I'm a 17 year old who's never been in a relationship? Never had sex? I've never even been kissed." He wiped his face with his hand and tried his damnedest to not look at the wolf.

"Thats not always a bad thing Stiles, you shouldn't be so eager to give yourself away."

"Everyone tells me the same thing. But I just... I've accepted that I'll be alone for the rest of my life Derek, but I am not ok with that fact."

"You're not gonna be alone, one day your perfect woman will come and make all of this seem like a bad dream, and you will laugh about how silly you sounded." Did Derek just laugh an honest laugh?

"Perfect? Perfect is a fairytale where the knight in shining armour rescues the princess and they ride into the sunset. I don't want perfect. I want all the fights and arguments, I want the horrible moments when we wont speak to each other, we'll realise we fought so stubbornly over something trivial and make up. I want all of that." He was on the verge of tears but he'd be damned if he would cry in front of Derek Hale.

"It will come. Princesses are hard to come by nowadays." Derek seemed to be all jokes and comfort tonight.

"Its even harder to find a Prince or a Knight in shining armor." Stiles didn't think about what he had just said it simply slipped out of his mouth so effortlessly.

"Is this you coming out to me?" That stupid smile that Stiles loved to look at but rarely saw.

"I uh ummm . No?" Tall tale sign he was lying was he rubbed the back of his neck.

The smile only grew as Derek put a warm hand on Stiles' shoulder in a reassuring manner "I can tell that you are lying. You know?"

"Shut up Sourwolf." Stiles playfully pushed him, but Derek didn't budge.

"Well Stiles, I'm not a Prince or a Knight in shining armor..." When did Derek move so close to him, the wolf pulled him into his body.

"but I hope a lowly werewolf will be ok for your first kiss."

"Wha..." Before Stiles could process that last word of that sentence Derek closed the gap between them, time stood still.

The kiss was everything Stiles every dreamed of. It was gentle, kind, and innocent, but most of all it made him feel wanted and secure. Everything had melted away and all that he could smell, see, hear, touch or taste was Derek. As quickly as it began it was over, Derek parted first, and leaned his forehead against Stiles'. Neither spoke. All that was heard was Derek's breath and Stiles' rapid heartbeat.

"We should go inside." Was all Stiles had to say and with a wordless nod from Derek.

It was Derek's cue to separate from him, and the loss of Stiles' skin against his was madding.


End file.
